'He's so by the book that I can't get [work] done': 20+ Coworkers who bring their bad habits into the workplace

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    Cheezburger Image 10438073600
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    What does your annoying coworker do that bugs you?
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    [deleted] I don't actually work with him, we do security and he works a different site. But he's constantly on the radio asking absolutely ridiculous. questions.
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    Earlier tonight he asked Dispatch to call emergency maintenance for his property because one of the toilets was clogged. The toilet wasn't even flooding, he just couldn't in it. The about a hour later he asked a supervisor what to do with a de d pigeon that he found. My supervisor told him to document it with multiple pictures and a thorough report entry.
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    CrabF S Not my current job, but a past one. I was a lowly intern, studying in a field that did NOT encourage getting up early (lots of late. nights), so getting to my internship by 8am was a tough adjustment. What could possibly make it worse? One of the full-time employees playing the same sappy Celine Dion CD 3-4
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    mornings a week. It was torture. So one sunny day when everybody but the interns was out golfing, I walked over, picked up one of the vacation request forms, and filled it out for Celine, citing that she was "overworked and needed a break".
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    Later that afternoon, the intern supervisor came over to us interns and asked if we had filled out the request form. We all denied it, but Celine did go on a two-week vacation.
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    xAe... He parks in the visitor parking spots that are closest to the entrance of the building. He has no physical ailments and is 34. • He interrupts constantly. If you stop and allow to to finish, he will interrupt again. I've tried to just keep talking if he interrupts, he talks louder.
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    • He has mountains of old food in the small office fridge. He won't take any home and it's starting to smell. • We are salary and don't have shifts, as long as we get our 8 hours in no one cares if you work 7-4 or 9- 6 or whatever. He reported me to our supervisor because I was 6 minutes late one day. He is never there at his "normal" time.
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    • We code our time to various projects throughout the day. He checks to see how everyone codes their time. This is not part of his responsibility. • Did I mention his interrupting? • If cannot have a conversation without him jumping in. This includes interrupting. If I ask a specific question to
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    someone else, and even if I specifically call the person by name, he will answer even his answer is wrong. • If I go into the Directors office and close the door, he walks around the office asking if anyone knows what we are talking about. He will try to eaves drop. on the conversation by standing near the door.
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    • I started working here a year ago. This is a government position. I came here with 7 years of experience in a high pressure corporate environment. He has three years of experience. All here. He talks to me like I'm a fresh college graduate. We are the same position. • I leave to go to lunch because I like getting out
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    of the office. He regularly invites himself. He gets upset if I say I want to make a solo run. He is actively trying to sabotage me by criticizing my work to our manager. We code our time to projects in excel spreadsheets. We each have our own on a share drive. He regularly reviews mine. I know this because I installed a macro on a
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    hidden sheet that logs the user name, date, and time of the opening and automatically saves the workbook. His name is in there a lot. I intend to confront him eventually. • I have never in my life dealt with someone who interrupts more than he does. • He never says good morning when he comes in. Ever. He shuffles by
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    everyone's desk and plops down loudly in his chair. • He seems to hate his children. He tells me how much harder my life will be if I ever have kids. Or how little free time I'll have. If you're having a conversation with someone, even a casual one unrelated to work, he will actively Google search and fact check what you're talking about and interrupt to correct you.
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    • He types excessively loud. Like the keys in the keyboard own him money. • His wife is a personal injury attorney. She is an ambulance chaser. This in and of itself isn't a big deal but it's just a little bit of extra topping on the sh cake. He loves to tell people his wife is an attorney. It gets worked into any conversation.
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    stumpyoftheshire Doesn't shower. At one stage his odour was that bad that others on the other side of the office put in a formal complaint. He wouldn't use deodorant and didn't shower often.
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    After a few months and more complaints, management had to do a morning "Sniff test" at HRs advisement to make sure his odour was tolerable, otherwise formal warnings would be put in place,
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    denko_safe_cats Total lack of awareness, both spacially and socially. I'm in IT and he and myself work directly with users daily. Presentations, training, and such. He bumps into sh. Knocked over the plant on my desk, knocked my phone off my desk.
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    Doesn't recognize personal space. Why is he so close to my plant or my phone? Because he has to stand 6 inches. from your face when he talks to you. Stand up and walk away? He'll follow. Sit down while he's standing? He'll lean over. We work in a room of cubicles that are low enough that you can speak over
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    them. People occasionally speak up to get a coworker, maybe a quick question, never a full conversation. People get how to use and not ab e the situation. He does not. We are in two cubicles with one person in between us (Dave), still in IT but a different part of it. He will walk into Dave's cubicle, lean over Dave's desk over the wall, and just start a
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    conversation with me. Can't recognize his own space. The plant again. Also, he's only been with us for a month and he already broke a large sign/banner that we use whenever we set up a walk-in center (after rolling out new software or hardware. Kind of like our own genius bar). My boss
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    loved that banner. He broke it by essentially opening a door into it. The banner is 7 feet tall and about 4 feet wide. It's held open under pressure so the hit caused it to snap and slam shut, wrecking it in the process. He didn't tell anyone for 3 days. Because...
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    No social awareness. Didn't see how not informing us was wrong. We needed it the day after he finally told us, but then needed to order a replacement. We could have had it in time if he mentioned it when it happened. Asks you a question, and cuts you off within the first 3 words of your answer to keep repeating his question
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    with slightly different inflections. Now I just stop and sit quietly until there's a long pause, and continue my statement, ignoring any additions he's made. Puts calls on "hold" by putting his finger over the mouth piece. No, it doesn't work. Yes, we have a hold button. Yes, he's talking about users when he does this.
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    The list goes on. He's been in this field for longer than I've been alive (in my mid twenties) and he's new to our office. You think he'd be more careful as he learns a new environment, new people, etc.
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    He hasn't caused any massive issue yet so at this point it's just a bunch of personal annoyances. I'm keeping a record and waiting for his big slip to speak with my boss. Before anyone says so, I'm keen to the political climate in my office and it would not benefit anyone to bring this things up now. Thanks, I needed to vent that..
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    [deleted] always coming by to take up money for someone who just had a baby/baby shower/in. the hospital/retiring/getting married/having a birthday.
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    Smith-_- he is a big fella, and he wears the same suit everyday, and only washes it on weekends, the smell by friday is something else
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    Mmmbeerisu He's so by the book that I can't get sh done when I need him to be involved. He sends 5 paragraph email responses detailing why he won't just do what would take less time than writing the email. Or he just replies. back with bulls hit wasting everyone's time.
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    Typical conversation: Me: I don't care if the SLA is 48hrs Bob, we're gonna off a fortune 50 company spending 7 figures with us if you don't respond today! Bob: be careful with your response ssae16 is not a certification, it's an audit. Don't want the customer to think we don't know what we're talking about.
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    Me: it Bob, I cut and pasted the request from the customer. Can you just get this done so we can move on Bob (CCs my boss): I don't see in the contract where we're contractually obligated to do this. Can you push back and tell them no?
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    Me: No Bob. They're obviously asking now because they're about to spend a million dollars and need to know. If I tell them no they're gonna hold the deal hostage. Me (separate email to my boss): ...he's doing it again.
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    MrThunderkat he tattles on people like a preschooler, he will sell anyone down the river if it means he can get his bronze nose a little further in that a_
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    irishmickguard Makes formal complaints over the smallest of sh . Disagreeing with someones. point of view now constitutes bu ying apparently. She also acts. like a teenage girl despite being 25.
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    Da_Steeeeeeve Used to have an indian coworker (England) who would talk loudly (basically shout) on the phone in his native language to a friend until management banned personal calls in the office. Then he used to pick flaking skin off his hands with his teeth and spit it on to his desk.
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    Coughed and sniffed like a child who doesnt want to blow their nose constantly throughout the day .. sniff ...hack hack.....cough....sniff Coughs and sneezes without covering his mouth. Took my monitor when i was on annual leave because mine "was bigger" and he "needed it more", i promptly took it back but it was covered in food when i did.
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    Stole from the fridge, denied it. When i confronted him he lied until i pointed out that can of coke had my name written on the bottom of it, tried to explain he should not have to replace it because he needed it more than me.
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    He eventually got fired because he was a .net developer and he actually had no idea what he was doing.... no idea how he got the job.
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    Hurray_for_Can... Gets personally offended and makes a big deal about everything imaginable. We are out of post-it notes and she needs some? Her life is over. Someone else gets assigned a task she would like to do? She's going to quit because she's not being utilized properly. We all just wish she would make good on her threats to leave.
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    ThermiteMillie She can't read a 24 hour clock (necessary for the Job) She can't read the rota because she doesn't understand the top part is the morning and the bottom part is the evening She harasses everyone for a lift home even though it's only a 20 minute walk home for her
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    She tells staff and patients to "stay gorgeous" She gets in people's personal space and then either stares at their face or their The first day I met her she grabbed my hand and called me babe
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    F... So many things that add up over the day. He enjoys taking his shoes off and walking around in his socks when not engaged with clients. He brings in this ridiculously large sized cooler everyday containing his various snacks and meals. Every morning he has a cold tupperware of oatmeal and meticulously scrapes every single god bit of it out.
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    By mid morning it's potion. time, he gets out his laboratory of used Starbucks cups and weeks old plastic spoons. The alchemy begins by carefully putting ice, cold brew coffee, maple syrup and cream together. But there has to be PERFECT SYNERGY between these ingredients. Too much ice? Take some out and throw in the trash. Too much cream? Add more
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    coffee and STIR THAT SH LIKE YOU ARE TURNING LEAD INTO GOLD for the next 20 minutes and loudly slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp on it. Have a headache? Take a nap at your desk in a shared 'bullpen' style office space. and give the stink eye and loudly sigh if someone dares to make noise. In fact, sigh loudly at all times, and make sure you replace basic courtesy greetings such as
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    'good morning' with a loud and long suffering sigh as soon as you walk through the door. It's now lunch time, which means removing your entire kitchen from your stupid cooler. Want tacos? Okay, lets get out our tortillas, our individual containers of meat, beans, rice, ect. Don't forget to get out your block of cheese and your cheese grater and
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    make a big mess in the break room. Eat it there while finishing off half the office's leftovers, or take it back to your desk and finish lunch. Oh, I'm sorry, did I imply he eats at his own desk? No he chooses someone else's empty desk, and eats there because his is such a I of un- filed papers, reports, and empty boxes stuffed with random sh that he has no room to eat at his own, and
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    lovingly leaves his paw prints on the lucky winners desk, mouse, monitor, and keyboard. Finally, make absolutely sure you act like doing actual work ought to be noticed and praised upon. Yep, that moment once or twice a day when he ratchets himself up out of his stupor of youtube. cooking videos and wrestling podcasts and actually contributes to the
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    team. But make sure you lean on everyone else to take care of the small details that you dislike doing. Because everyone else's time is not as valuable as yours and you have important amounts of sitting around and not doing anything to get back to.
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    Cinnamon Bun Bun She's a hypocrite. She complains non-stop about everything and then does those exact same things she complains about.
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    MuddyHusky Works 12+ hours a day, 6 days a week, mostly because he hates his fiancé and home life. Can't understand why everyone wants to go home after 8 hours.
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    CampingWithC... It takes him a full half hour to tell me about the half hour comedy he saw on tv. last night because he includes a description of the commercials.
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    [deleted] He heats dishes with pasta sauce on them uncovered in the microwave and lets it spatter everywhere - then walks away, leaving his mess for someone else to clean up.
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    raise-your-w • She comes into my office at least once a day while I am either on the phone or clearly working on something and she talks at great length about one or more of the following topics: her health (or rather, her lack of it) and all the medicines she's taking and the procedures she has had or needs and how much pain she's in, etc., her
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    family and friends whom I have never met (she talks. about them like I am supposed to know all their background), or what clothes she bought and what they look like (while showing me pictures). My other coworker comes into my office in the morning and tells me we are going to go to lunch together without first asking me if I want to go to lunch,
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    or if I am leaving early, or if I need to work through lunch. She also spends long periods of time reading me her text messages and snapchat stuff while I am on the phone or clearly trying. to get stuff done. • Another coworker (who has the same job as I do but is in a more senior position) always comes in late, leaves early, dumps her work on
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    me, and then complains when I don't do it right (I've only been at the firm for 8 months and she's been there for six years). I don't think I'll be here for long.
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    everyperson Extended coffee breaks. Extended bathroom breaks. Much texting. Constant internet surfing. Lots o' socializing. Snacking. More coffee. Internet. Texting. Me: "Will you be able to complete this task today?"
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    Co-worker: "OMG I DON'T HAVE TIME, THERE'S NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY, I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET EVERYTHING DONE, I'M VERY BUSY AND IMPORTANT!!!!!ONE!!!!111" MmmHmm.

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